Monkey Boy!
So say you have a coworker... a new coworker... picture yourself working for a horrible company that reminds you of the Vietnam Conflict. The people in charge are old, out of touch, and do more damage than good. The veterans have been there for a year or more, but no more than 2.5 years... here you are new-no one wants to know your name, they make it a point to vilify your honest mistakes... And then weeks later, you are over the hump, experienced. You've already seen 4 other people come and go, either being fired, or not coming back...or in the case of Vietnam, seeing them killed or maimed. They were the lucky ones.
You always work at night, you have this tired desperation about you. Work is 7 days a week, no breaks, very little pay, no hope for escape... But I digress.
Say you have a coworker, a new coworker, whose name you do not know. You make no effort to to know his name, because every time he opens his mouth to speak to you, he either tries to insult you in an effort to be funny that isn't, or he has some inane comment that has nothing to do with anything like "cheese is good." Other coworkers notice this behavior also, in fact one was so insulted the first time this new coworker spoke that the veteran has refused to acknowledge his existence.
You try to tell the new coworker how to do his job better, to help make your job easier. He looks at you with big black dumb eyes, not even blinking. So you name him Monkey Boy. He resembles a silver back gorilla anyway, and it fits. He moves slowly, plodding along, breaking things or ignoring them entirely as he passes, only stopping to utter some incomprehendible
statement that might as well be "Oog oogh"
This of course is extremely insulting to monkeys and gorillas because, as we all know, they are intelligent, articulate and coordinated. This man, Monkey Boy is like a human bowling ball. Round, unsophisticated, and good only to knock things over, in a ham-fisted Monkey Boy sort of way. And occasionally he will look over as if to say "who me?" as he is slowing everyone else down or destroying something else.
If this were Vietnam you would hope Monkey Boy steps on a landmine, or someone in the platoon would do everyone else a favor and shoot him in the back while on patrol. But then again who knows. Most people quit or are fired...but he plods along leaving pestilence and ill-will in his silver back wake.
You always work at night, you have this tired desperation about you. Work is 7 days a week, no breaks, very little pay, no hope for escape... But I digress.
Say you have a coworker, a new coworker, whose name you do not know. You make no effort to to know his name, because every time he opens his mouth to speak to you, he either tries to insult you in an effort to be funny that isn't, or he has some inane comment that has nothing to do with anything like "cheese is good." Other coworkers notice this behavior also, in fact one was so insulted the first time this new coworker spoke that the veteran has refused to acknowledge his existence.
You try to tell the new coworker how to do his job better, to help make your job easier. He looks at you with big black dumb eyes, not even blinking. So you name him Monkey Boy. He resembles a silver back gorilla anyway, and it fits. He moves slowly, plodding along, breaking things or ignoring them entirely as he passes, only stopping to utter some incomprehendible
statement that might as well be "Oog oogh"
This of course is extremely insulting to monkeys and gorillas because, as we all know, they are intelligent, articulate and coordinated. This man, Monkey Boy is like a human bowling ball. Round, unsophisticated, and good only to knock things over, in a ham-fisted Monkey Boy sort of way. And occasionally he will look over as if to say "who me?" as he is slowing everyone else down or destroying something else.
If this were Vietnam you would hope Monkey Boy steps on a landmine, or someone in the platoon would do everyone else a favor and shoot him in the back while on patrol. But then again who knows. Most people quit or are fired...but he plods along leaving pestilence and ill-will in his silver back wake.
posted by Mike at 1:41 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home